I Am Me

Ep 14: Rewriting the Loop: From Limiting Beliefs to Daily Wins

• Liz Bachmann • Season 1 • Episode 14

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The loop felt endless: wake up, predict a bad day, collect evidence that proves it, numb out, repeat. So I pressed pause and rewrote the first five minutes. This conversation walks through the simple practices that turned my mornings from dread into direction—four affirmations, short visualizations, and a kinder, more accurate story about who we are and what’s possible.


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Hi, everybody. Welcome back to IM Me. I'm your host, Liz Bachman, and today we are talking about something I am very, very excited to talk about because I'm learning it right now, and I know I'm not the only one. I'm gonna talk about how I am breaking my negative cycles and shifting out of my limiting beliefs. And I know that this is a hot topic item, right? We hear about this one all the time that if we can shift our limiting beliefs, we can in turn shift our subconscious, which shifts our reality. And who doesn't want that when we feel like we are constantly in a negative loop or repeating patterns or behaviors that we don't like? And if you are an overthinker like me, then this episode is for you because I want the blueprint. I want the tell me to do this, this, this, and this so that I can get the thing that I want. But unfortunately for us overthinkers, when we are dealing with this kind of stuff and this internal work, it is not black and white and it never will be. So these are things that I'm doing that are actually helping me and changing me. I can feel that they're changing me. And I hope that you can relate to them and that they give you a little bit of hope and maybe you can implement some of these things to help yourself in the process. So I think first, like maybe talk about how I have a very, like, very loud inner critic realizing that my mornings were starting to start with just the negative loop. It's gonna be a bad day. I have to go to the job that I don't like. It's just how am I getting out of this? Da-da-da-da. And of course, there's other things in play in terms of lack. I know, big trigger words, lack mindset, scarcity mindset, abundance, all that kind of stuff. But more than anything, what I was seeing was the negative loops that I was getting stuck in in my day-to-day. I first had to come to terms with part of the problem is me. I am the one that is constantly waking up and feeding myself the narrative that today's gonna be bad and that I'm doing the same thing and that I'm stuck where I am. If you feel stuck, you're not stuck. If you feel stuck in the job, relationship with your finances, that's a big one. You know, all the big touchy topics. That's a thing with these topics, we all hit them, right? We all deal with them. But if you feel stuck, you're not. There is always a way out. You can get another job, you can get out of that relationship, you can make more money. And if you feel like you can't, you can. Uh, it might take time and it might take a little bit of work, and it might take internal work. Probably that's the most important one is the internal work, honestly. But you freaking can. You're not stuck. Anyway, I feel like telling myself I was stuck was me perpetuating this negativity loop, which reinforced the limiting beliefs that I had. I'm stuck and this is what it is, and I don't know how to get out of this. And then I'd start panicking on like how I can get out of this situation as quickly as possible while constantly pumping negativity into my life. I could not be in my day because I didn't like my day, but there became a point where the numbing wasn't working anymore, right? Like television, food, drugs, alcohol, whatever your numbing thing is. It just wasn't working for me anymore. I go to food and television a lot, and I just was like, I can't watch another my numbing show or eat another pizza. Oh, I'm wearing my pizza shirt. That's funny. But I can't eat another pizza to suppress this because I'm too aware of the fact that I am in this like miserable loop. So that was the first thing I had to do was realize that I was perpetuating the misery to a certain extent, which was not the most fun thing to come to terms with, in all honesty. We don't ever like to think that we're the problem, right? But um, I very much was in that way. And then I had to do something about it really quick, going with the misery loop. I don't know, I'm sure people have heard about confirmation bias and stuff like that. I'm actually gonna pull up and read the definition of confirmation bias if you haven't heard it, because it's important. Okay. Confirmation bias, the tendency to interpret new evidence as confirmation of one's existing beliefs or theories. Let's talk about it real quick. So I have the story that my life is miserable, I'm stuck in this job, I'm never gonna get out of this job, I'm not gonna make money. I'm constantly confirming that with waking up with my negative feedback. I mean, that was the what I'm telling myself when I'm waking up is that. And it really the first shift for me was starting to wake up and tell myself something different. And the thing that I literally pulled from Joe Dispenza, like four affirmations, and I'm still doing them every morning. First one was, I am the creator of my destiny. And then I take this is all something that I just like learned and I'm doing it. And I like literally before I even get out of my bed, I'm doing this. Right. Affirmation number one, I am the creator of my destiny. Then I take two to three minutes and I visualize myself in the future living the destiny that I want. Also, guys, if you get caught, I'm a person that I'm like, I don't quite know what I want. I have an idea, but not quite sure. That's okay. Picture one thing that you want. If you know you want to be in a relationship or married or have a baby or a certain job or whatever, just picture that thing. You don't have to know it all right now. We don't know it all. You're never gonna know it all. I'm never gonna know it all. Anyway, the second affirmation is that my energy creates my reality. Again, I would spend like two to three minutes. I'm still doing this, I don't know why I say I would. I would spend two to three minutes imagining the type of energy I want. For me, confidence, positivity, security is a big one. I would just sit in that energy in my bed. What would it feel like for me to be secure and not be worried about money? And what would it feel like for me to be confident and also secure in myself? Know that like the right people and opportunities and all that are coming. I'm secure in that. I'm not worried about it not happening because it is. The third affirmation is I am complete as I am. This one was really good for me because I really struggle with feeling like I'm not enough. A lot of us struggle with that. Thank you. Society, childhood, whatever the thing is, social media, I don't know. But I would say I'm comp I am already complete as I am. And then I would really try to feel that because it's not like I don't need another person and I don't need a certain amount of money, and I don't need a career, a certain career to already be complete. It's not that I can't want those things. Okay, that's where I feel like I would get stuck a lot. I'd be like, oh, I'm complete where I'm at currently. So it's wrong for me to want to be in a romantic relationship. It's wrong for me to want a certain amount of money. It's wrong for me to want because I'm supposed to already feel whole and complete and all that. It's it's not that, which is if you're an overthinker like me, like, yeah, it's that goes black and white thinking, right, wrong. It's not that, okay? I'm complete as I am. And just sit in that. Can we just sit in that together for a second? That'd be awesome. I'm complete as I am. You are complete as you are right now. I don't care what weight you are, how much money's in your bank account, I don't care what your relationship status looks like, I don't care what your job is, you right now are complete as you are. And I would try to concentrate that energy of peace and completeness in me and sit with that for two to three minutes. That does not mean that you don't get to want the things you want. That doesn't mean you don't want a different future. You can still be complete and want to be in love. You can still be complete and want to have a certain amount of money, you can still be complete right now in this moment and want to get healthier. That doesn't mean that you don't want those things. And that was such the reason I'm like spending time on this, is that was such a big thing for me because I was like, oh, if I'm complete right now, like I'll zen the freak out. That means that I can't want these other things. And it's like, no, we're human. We are human. It's okay for you to want those things. It'd be crazy if you didn't want those things. It's okay for you to want more for yourself. But the switch up is that that doesn't mean that you're not complete and whole right now. That's the thing that I want to land. The fourth one is I am connected to limitless opportunities. And weirdly, when I really tune into that, like sitting there again, spend the two to three minutes focusing on it. I almost like a montage going super quick, or like stars like that are connecting. The dots are connecting in my brain, is kind of how that works for me. I can see my mentor, musicians I've worked with, people I've met along the way, people I've met 10 years ago. I guess people's a big one. All these people are connected and the doors and the opportunities are opening. And yeah, so that was the that was the first thing. After like realizing that I was perpetuating this negativity loop or victimhood or whatever, I wanted to start my day because I was I was starting my day in such a negative energy. I felt it when I wake, woke up. I felt like this is it, this is my life before I even get out of my bed, do those four affirmations and sit with them and just spend instead of hitting snooze for another 10 minutes, I would, I would do that. I also have to remind myself it's okay that I'm bad at it sometimes. Sometimes I it is great. I am locked in and we are in those four affirmations, thriving. And sometimes it's really hard to sit in that space and hold that space for myself. And that doesn't mean I'm doing it wrong. That just means that I'm a human and my life is lifing. And so it's okay if you're all over the place sometimes, and it's okay if you're really tuned in other times. And this isn't about you getting it right. This is just about you getting your energy centered first thing in the morning. The other thing I did, I had to realize what people have put on me throughout my life that I have now taken as truth. And a really good, I can't remember who said this. It might have been my mentor, it might have been in a podcast, but they were talking about if you were like a white sheet of paper when you're born, and then people stick stuff on you. You're too much, you're too loud, you're not enough, you need to be more quiet, you need to be, you need to be more loud, you need, you know, we all the shit that gets thrown on us, just being a human in this world, especially in childhood, growing up, parents, teachers, friends, us trying to figure it out, society, social media, entertainment, whatever, you know, whatever's been thrown on you. What are you actually believing that isn't true? Too much is a big, big one for me. I'm very energetic. I can be super silly over the top. And there's a fear that if I'm that, if I release the lid on that and I just let myself be all of me, that people are gonna be like, uh, she's a lie, or she's an attention hog, or she wants people to care and she wants attention and she wants people to look at her when in actuality it's just how I am. And I do like attention, who doesn't, first of all? But I also am just naturally really silly and goofy and energetic and other other things with that. Like, oh, if she's she's too over the top, she's too much, who's gonna want to work with me? What clients will I get? If I'm too much, too over the top, will I even build a following? Will people think I'm a tryhard? Okay, that might not be your thing. That's just mine, speaking from my experience. Who put this too much on me? And why am I so worried about being too much? Because the negativity is what I'm pumping into me when in actuality I have proof that people like my too muchness. Not everybody. That's okay. I do not want 8 billion people to like me. That sounds exhausting. But in fact, some people love it. Some people love my goofy over-the-top energy. Some people love the fact that I'm not filtered and they don't know what's gonna come out of my mouth or what I'm gonna do. News flash, I don't know. I don't know if I'm gonna on a walk start frolicking or trying to climb a tree. You know, I don't know why that was the example. But some people love that and some people are gonna fucking hate it. Okay. My therapist literally asked me, what would happen if this this lid that you have on me being so terrified of being too much, if we just pop that thing and just let let all of me explode. And the fear is I'd lose people. But the truth is I'd also probably find people. I might lose people, but those are people I don't want. And the right people would find me. And that's really exciting. Another thing I had to learn is realizing what I put on myself and learning to catch that. So a good example of this for me is like anxious attachment, I feel like. If you don't know what that is, it's has to do with relationships and the attachment styles and all that. And I'm not a therapist, so maybe I'll make a video on some on it at some point. And I think if if you're someone who's read a lot of self-help books or listened to a lot of self-help podcasts, you can start putting stuff on yourself. That's like, why? Why are we putting that on ourselves? And the reason I brought up anxious attachment is I started saying, I am anxiously attached. I am an anxiously attached. And I'm like, no, I struggled with anxious attachment in one relationship. That does not mean that I am an anxiously attached person. That doesn't mean that I can't be secure in another relationship. You news flash, that relationship didn't last. That relationship ended. That relationship was not a good fit for me, which is probably why there was anxiety around it. So I think I started becoming really careful with I am statements. I am anxiously attached, I am not enough. I am it's the stuff that I started feeding myself like self that I say to myself regularly. And it's not all about like I am affirmations. It's just noticing what you are believing, like what you put on yourself at some point and what you're believing. Another big one for me is money that I believe around money I should have to scrape by and just barely make the ends meet. And it doesn't even matter that maybe I pick that up from someone else at some point. At a certain point, I started making it my thing. I started making it my narrative. The reason I say this and I separate it from the other point is it's easy to figure out like a lot of times what other people put on you, but at a certain point, you've aged so much that you've just completely taken that on as your own. So figure out what other people are saying about you that you're believing that's not true, but also figure out what you're saying about yourself that you're believing that's not true, and just start trying to catch them. This is all gonna take time, okay? I'm still doing this shit. I'm still figuring this out, okay? I just try to catch it. Like when I'm like, I'm anxiously attached, I'm like, no, I'm not. I'm not anxiously attached. There's nothing wrong with me. I am not broken. Or when I say something like, I'm always just gonna struggle with money. No, I'm not. I found three pennies the other day. Three on the ground, right next to each other. That might sound small to you, but you want to hear what's really cool. I've been doing this thing where when I find a penny on the ground, I get really freaking excited about it. Truly. And it felt kind of silly at first. I started doing this. When I'd find a penny, I'd treat it like how I would if I found a hundred dollars on the ground, right? And at first it did feel silly to have such a reaction because if I found a hundred dollars on the ground, I'd be like, woohoo! Yeah. Well, honestly, actually, that's not true. I would try to find who that$100 belonged to. But if nobody claimed it and then they were like, you keep it, it's yours, whoever these people are, then be celebrating hardcore, you know? My point in all this is I started doing that with a penny, and I've been finding pennies, and every time I do it, it's kind of fun now when I find a penny because that just naturally happens. Like it's it's in the brain. It's it's what my body's like, oh, when we find a penny, for whatever reason, this bitch has some crazy, excited, joyous moment. Well, yesterday I was with my friend Aurora and I found three print pennies. And when I tell you, she probably thought I was like on drugs, the way I was bouncing off the wall over the fact that I found three. I looked like a toddler who had just in it in the middle of the square with people around. I don't care because I was like, what? It's coming. And that was one of the ways that I started shifting my mindset around this stuff. That was one of the ways that I'm trying to rewrite the narrative that this the belief, this that I can't make money, that like money is not coming to me. Money's all around me. What are you talking about? I know it's easier said than done, but you have to catch the thoughts first. Get excited a pit about a penny. I'm telling you, try that shit. Like if if if if money is a thing for you, then go start getting excited about your freaking penny. Okay. This one is for my self-helpers, the ones who have binge the fuck out on self-help books and they're not seeing change. Hi, that's me. Okay. Stop. And this is from all the freaking self-help. I can tell you that right now. Stop judging yourself for having natural human emotions and natural human responses. Let me tell you what I mean. If I break down and look at my social media first thing in the morning, right? Because I don't like to do that. But if I do it, I would get so morning ruined, right? And I'm still working on this one, guys. Like, I would get so critical about myself for looking at that, that now I'm adding, I'm adding suffering to my life. Instead of just being like, okay, I looked at my social first thing in the morning. I know I want to be better about that. But my brain would be like, mmm, you did the wrong thing. The right thing would have been to do your four visualizations. You hopped up, you looked at your phone. Now the day is ruined. What? What? No. The other one is emotions. Being a securely attached person is a thing that I started being like, I want that. I want to be a secure in relationship, secure in finances. And that doesn't mean that things don't hurt. Like rejection doesn't hurt, that I can't cry like when my heart gets broken, that I'm gonna have not have like sad days. Sometimes we just wake up sad. But what I would do is I would start beating myself up for waking up sad instead of just letting myself be like, okay, I'm a human. Every butt day is not gonna be 100. So I woke up sad the day. All right, but I would just latch on to that sadness and then I'd beat the fuck out of myself for being sad, which would just perpetuate more sadness, and then just spiral down from there. It's okay if you wake up a little catty one day. It's okay if you wake up a little sad one day. It's okay if you don't know why, but stop getting married to it. Stop judging yourself for having emotions. Another one I am really critical of is wanting people to like me and wanting external validation. I can get so hard on myself because I want people to like like what I'm doing. Hello, that's human. You know how many hours a week I spend on my content? Of course I want people to like that shit. I want people to follow my content. I want people to someday pay me for my content. I put a lot of fucking work into this content. You best your ass that I want to make some money for it. That's okay. That's human. My point in all that, getting out of that was starting to be okay with me having human emotions and human responses to things. Everything doesn't have to be some deep philosophical therapy self-help discovery. It can be you woke up sad, or it can be you woke up happy, or it can be you wanna be liked because we're human. The last thing I want to talk about around this was doing what I want to do and doing it consistently, doing it realistically, and doing it for me first and trusting myself that it's gonna work out. All this is a learning process, all this is a slow grow, you know, kind of vibe. But an example of this is my YouTube channel. And instead of feeling this rush and like feeling like I have to do this, you these YouTube videos and and like trying to make them what they're not, make them into something that I'm I'm not yet, actually finding a way to have joy around them. And what that looks like is I know that I want this to be like lifestyle and my growth and my experiences and learning and evolving, but I have to show up as me and my life right now. I can't show up as the girl that has it all figured out because I don't, you know, like I'm figuring this shit out as I go. I also change my energy around how I do these videos. Like I danced before I did this video. I just danced in my room to some good music because that's the energy I want to bring into this. And if I feel really down, I don't want to film a video on that day because I want to have fun doing this. And by doing what I can do, what I can control consistently, it takes ownership over my life. I can't control how many people see this video. I cannot control when I make money at this. I can't control how many likes it gets. I can't control how many subscribers it gets. I can't control a lot of stuff, but I can control making these videos, I can control showing up and making these videos weekly. And that helps because it's taking ownership over the things that I want in my life. I hope this helped. I hope that this felt like you and I were just having a conversation because we are. If you like this episode, if you like the podcast, if you like me, like, comment, subscribe, follow. You know the things. I I'm on so many platforms. You know the thing to do. Whatever platform you like, do that thing. And yeah, I can't wait to talk to you guys in the next one. Guys, gals, whatever. I mean it synonymously, synonymously, unanimously, whatever. I'm not a writer. Okay, peace. I love you guys. Bye.