I Am Me
Celebrating people and their passions because nobody can do it like you can.
I love that everyone has a story that is unique to them. Our journeys are all different, but we can still learn so much from one another. I am grateful that through my own journey as an actor I have had the opportunity to meet so many incredible people.
On my podcast you will get to hear their stories. This podcast is for the dreamers and the inspired. For the people who love people and are completely uninterested in living life by the status quo. Every person is unique to who they are. So look in the mirror and say it loud:
I AM ME!!!
I Am Me
I Am Gabrielle ByndLoss and Sam Valentine - Fostering Community and Resilience in the Acting Industry, Confronting Mental Health and Learning to Be Authentic
Ever felt like the acting industry was a lone wolf's territory, filled with competition and solitary struggles? Gabrielle Byndloss and Sam Valentine, two seasoned actors, have shaken up that narrative by creating a haven for their peers. Their shared journey, encompassing the highs and lows of an actor's life, unfolds in this episode as they talk about the Membership, a community designed to empower and support actors away from the industry's harsh realities.
Hey everyone, welcome back to I Am Me podcast. Today, I'm very excited I'm sitting down with two guests, which is a first for me. I am joined by Gabrielle Ben-Loss and Sam Valentine. They're both two incredibly talented boss women in their own right, but they're also both actors, content creators. Sam has her own podcast called One Broke Actress. Gabrielle creates amazing content on Instagram and TikTok with a lot of great advice for actors. Honestly, both of them have so much great advice for actors. They're fun, silly, fearless, independent women who I admire and respect, and the two of them came together to create a kick-ass online community for actors like myself called the Membership, and I am super excited to sit down and talk with both of you today. So how?
Speaker 2:are you guys doing Doing good? Thank you for having us.
Speaker 3:I love being on other people's podcasts. I'm thrilled to be here.
Speaker 1:I'm super excited and I feel like it might be a little easier because you just get to show up and you don't have to worry about all the stuff that happens after this one hour that we have together. Yep, I'm just on the ride. Exactly, I want to dive into the Membership how you two came together to create that, how y'all crossed paths, and also what the Membership is to you guys in your own words.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I'll kick it off, because I actually just found this journal entry in my GoodNotes pages a couple of days ago and I sent it to Gabrielle. So Gabrielle and I were internet friends. We met TA-ing a class at Mornell Studios online and I said let's meet, let's have coffee over the phone and Gabrielle begrudgingly said yes, and it turned out that we couldn't get off the phone with each other and we just had a really great relationship and we were doing similar things. We were both active working actors who were also presenting ourselves on the internet and sharing our day-to-day life in a realistic manner, and I admire it so much because I know how hard it is.
Speaker 3:And when I met someone who was doing a similar thing from a totally different world, I was like I need to know this person.
Speaker 3:And then we just kind of never stopped calling each other. And I think this is part of the reason we created the Membership is we realized that every actor needs someone to lean on who understands what they're going through and understands what they might need at any moment. And one day I was writing and I had. You know, we both have so much going on in our side worlds as well as our acting careers and I wrote down in my journal like I just feel like I need to do this with Gabrielle. I feel like we need to have some sort of like community together. I feel like she could handle calls, I feel like she would talk to actors so well, like she's so confident and charismatic. I just want her. And that day I was like, hey, we've never met in person, but would you ever be interested in starting a business together based on what we already do? Just let me know. Also, if this is an insane voicemail, please just ignore it and I'll let you take it from me.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I think that you know, I always admired what Sam was doing. She'd been doing it for so long and so much more before anybody, I think, took social media seriously, and so I was honored that she asked to go into business together, but also nervous, because I knew what her following was like and I didn't want her to feel like I was taking any bit of what she's already created and capitalizing off of it. I had come from a background of having some amazing bookings and losing a lot of people because of it, because, as we know, everybody's your cheerleader until you quote, unquote, surpass them and then they're like what am, what is she doing that I'm not doing, and things got really nasty. So when I had looked into teaching at Mornell Studios, it was actually because I was like I want people to know that I actually know what I'm doing. It's not like I lucked out, this is something I've worked hard for. And then when I started showing up at social media, it was to show people like here's the other side of my life, like I know you're seeing bookings, but here's all the nitty gritty that happens leading up to it.
Speaker 2:And what I found was I don't have a heart for teaching acting classes. It's not my jam, but I do have a heart for empowering people, especially actors, and so, since I had figured that out so late in the game in my opinion, sam's request of what if we started business together I was super intimidated because I was like I don't even know if I have anything to offer as far as bringing people in. I know I have something to offer as far as what I'm going to say, but, like, this is going to be built on your following and you're falling alone and, to be honest, I think the first time we opened our doors it was built on OBA is following, and what's lovely is those OG members already had gone through so much with Sam that they knew what they were getting into and I didn't have to mute myself or change myself for anything else. And then from there, it's just been this progressive growth of people that I have followed me from Instagram or from TikTok that I think we're also a little confused as to like, wait a second, I've never seen these two together and now I'm seeing them together all the time and we're like we get it.
Speaker 2:We were never together either. I'm actually going to see her for the second time in our entire life in person in March. So I know it's a weird relationship, yeah, but here we are and ultimately we just wanted to bring to other actors what the two of us had of like a safe space to go through all those crazy thoughts that we have as a sounding board. That wasn't going to have judgment or competition happening at the same time, yeah, and to I think I want to note too.
Speaker 3:There was something when Gabrielle was like oh, I don't want to take advantage of you. I was like I don't want you to think I'm taking advantage of you because you have more credits than I do. You're a black woman in the industry. I don't want you to think I just want to be with you for some sort of diversity quota. I just fucking love you. And I see I knew I would curse right away and I was like this is just. This is just, I want this and I don't want you to think I'm taking advantage of you.
Speaker 3:So this is a concept back and forth. We have of like making sure we're taking care of each other, which is the gift of this all. So the membership is really that it's. It's a safe space for actors to come. It's not an acting class, because we think that we have plenty of those. There's a lot of people who teach acting incredibly well, some of which we have come monthly to the membership to work on that with our actors, and we have so many resources and so many things to share with people, and we think the community has so much to share with each other that we wanted to make the world feel a little less crazy, a little less of us stuck in our echo chambers, and give everyone just a safe place. So, whether that's via an email or an online Slack channel, or a monthly call like every other week with us, you know we just we wanted people to feel what we feel about this business.
Speaker 1:I also I like what both of y'all said, because even it's funny how we just have so many insecurities, like as people, but also as women, and even I took me forever to even ask to you to be on my podcast because I was like same thing I have like 50 followers on my podcast Instagram, so I know how hard, that is.
Speaker 3:So I respect those 50 people.
Speaker 1:What I try to. That's what I try to remind myself be grateful, Like you have people who are listening, but it's also, I understand, a lot of my listens come from the people that I am interviewing. So I don't want people like I genuinely just want to sit down and talk to people, but I don't want people to feel like I'm trying to take advantage of them. So it's funny that y'all both hit on having that same feeling when y'all first connected.
Speaker 2:I think it's so funny what we've been fed as far as media goes, like you can't be women in business together, you have to be women in business competing, and so I'm sure that's where it comes from. But just so you know, it only felt like you were like hey, I just want to talk to you guys. Can we put it in my podcast?
Speaker 3:Good yeah, we're all a bunch of actors. Give us an opportunity to talk on a microphone or do our own PR. Are you joking? We love it.
Speaker 1:Right, I know, I know I feel like I plug myself as much as I plug the people I interview on here, but that's what makes me me Okay. The membership, from what I can see, is doing incredibly well. So what do you think Because I've seen other people try and do acting communities and I'm fortunate to be a part of the membership so what do you think YouTube bring to it that makes it do so well? Because it does feel it is such a safe space. And there's other communities I've tried to join won't name names that don't have that, that immediately have like a kind of cutthroat trying to be better. So what do you two do, or what do you think you guys bring to it that makes it feel so safe?
Speaker 2:You know, I think what you get is what you get with us, and that's what makes it feel safe, because people can try us out on social media first. They can watch our stories, they can watch what we post and be like Okay, do I want to hang out with this person in an online forum? Do I want to be on calls with this person? And then when they do decide to join the membership, they realize that there isn't any change. What you get on IG is what you get in the membership, and I think that creates the safety net, because people are like Okay, so they are who they say they are and I can be who I say I am.
Speaker 2:It's not like I'm entering into paying them now and they've put themselves on a pedestal to ensure that I stay here. It's like we're very open about we both have different experiences in this career and here's some things that worked for us, but the community is only as strong as everybody working together. And then, on the other side of that, I just think we're really for lack of better word like pretty fucking cool people, and that isn't what everybody is. You know, there are a lot of times when people are just in this to either make money or to be able to feel like they're helping other actors, and so that, in turn, makes them feel like they're a better actor. And it's like we have no agenda with the membership except for to offer what Sam and I offer to each other. And I think that makes us pretty fucking cool, because it's like if everybody decides to quit tomorrow, then it's like, ok, we still did what we wanted to do. We gave people what we had, and that was the whole goal.
Speaker 1:It was never to make money, well, and I think too, like part of what makes you guys so great is. This isn't going to be a podcast of me just telling you how great you are, but it might be no, but if you want to, that's also fine. Really I'm very embarrassed of you.
Speaker 3:Girl keep going.
Speaker 1:So it's like the fact that you are comfortable to stand in your power and say we're fucking cool people and own that and no, it's true, and not say it in a conceded way, like I think that's part of y'all's appeal, because there is a confidence with you guys, not in like an asshole, arrogant way. And yeah, like we know what we bring to the table, we know our worth and I don't know. I just think, like when people can say, yeah, I'm fucking cool, I'm not an asshole about it, but I'm fucking cool, and take me or leave me and I just, I don't know. That's something to aspire to and something that I think does set you guys apart.
Speaker 3:That's really cool to hear from someone who's who's on the inside of it Like that means a lot. Because I also think what makes it really special is that we've both been in the trenches of this career in such different capacities and while both of us know that people can look in on our careers and see us as successful, we're like and also we want X, y and Z. So it's been a struggle for us both, at different points in our lives, to stand in our power and say like we are damn good at this job and we are worthy of people you know paying for our time, whether it's on a set or on a one-on-one call or whatever it is, and that has taken a lot of work, depending on. You know our internal struggles. Where we're out of the time, we like to pretend like bookings don't matter, but they feel like they matter a lot when your business is based on helping actors and being able to get past that and continue working in this job without the accolades that we are told make you quote, unquote good at this job Like that's some powerful shit, because then everything's up to you. You get to say when you're doing well, you get to take that back, us having to learn those hard lessons and relearn them over and over again.
Speaker 3:Live with our people. It makes it not a power structure. It's not like we are in charge and we're like, yes, we, we had instant career success and you see that you see people who had really lucky beginning of their careers and they will eventually teach or start you know something of their own, which is awesome, and I think it's good for everyone to like share what they know and what they've learned. But when you've battled like we have to come from nothing, you get a different perspective on this job and you get a different respect for the people who are willing to stay in it without signs of success, and that is something I want everyone to think about when they come into the membership. I want them to know they're already succeeding because they get to spend one hundred and fifteen dollars a month on a community Like that's a, that's a privilege man.
Speaker 1:I feel like I should just play that like little sound bite over and over again, because bookings do feel like they hold so much weight and you can't call yourself an actor until you've booked. And I've been at this for like seven years and I just have not. I've gotten a lot of auditions but I've just not got what I thought I would get. And I think there comes times when I want to quit because I feel like I haven't proved to myself that I am what I say I am or I can do what I say I can do. And I know one of my questions was actually for you, Gabrielle. I know that you talked about I've just heard it in passing. I know you've talked about it at some point that you were considering quitting, acting prior to starting the membership. Do I have that right?
Speaker 2:I was considering dropping, acting in the middle of the membership. It was last year, like after we had started the community, like Sam was so great into listening and being like cool. My business partner that I just wanted to be a partnership with is about to quit acting. But that's fine, we'll figure it out.
Speaker 3:We were just like we were just on a, we were on an office hours call and you're like, yeah, I'm just not sure if this is, I'm going to think about it and I was like mm. Hmm. And in my head I was like mm. Hmm.
Speaker 1:So will you touch on that? Well, I want to hear from both of you, but I'll throw the mic to you first, gabrielle. Will you touch on that self doubt and that feeling of inadequacy? Voice is just human and whatever you do, so what for you, I guess, motivated you or changed that for you to keep going? And then to both of you, what do y'all do when you hear that self doubt that you know are intercritic, that voice of feeling like you're not good enough or you're not doing what you feel like you should be doing at this point?
Speaker 2:Well, I gotta call it out again, like the only reason why we feel like bookings are the measure of success as to being an actor is because of what everybody else puts on us, because the first thing that happens when you say I'm an actor is cool, what have you been in? And if you don't have an answer to that, it's an immediate so you're trying to be an actor. No, no, no, I'm an actor, but you haven't been in anything. So that rig of my role that we go through every single time, please a thing on our psyche and it makes us feel like, ok, so I have to book to be able to be successful. So for me, it was actually the opposite. I wasn't thinking, oh, I haven't booked and I need to book to be able to stay, to be an actor. It was the opposite. It was I have an amazing career, all things that I've worked my ass off for, all things that I deserve. But it's the side that people don't want to talk about, where you realize you thought that once you got to a certain level, you would be so thrilled with this career and you would feel like I did it.
Speaker 2:Man, I'm an actor, I'm incredible, and I'm here to tell you that you feel that when you're on set there and the second you leave, it goes right back to that same feeling that you have, liz, of like, when am I ever going to book something? And nothing is ever good enough, and as a human in this world, I struggle a lot with things not being good enough in everything that I do. I have to, like say I must have watched me try my best to try things I'm not going to be great at, because I will quit and not do it If I'm not great at it. And so I just was really having an issue with feeling like I did the thing. I got amazing bookings, I have an incredible reps, I have incredible knowledge from this. Is this something that I want to continue to have on my plate?
Speaker 2:As you still have to hustle, you still have to try, you still have to do more, because, at the end of the day, I got into this career to inspire other people of color to be in this career, and I was doing it in a bigger way without being on set, and so I was like, is this still the place that I want to be, which is like, not the shit people are going to tell you, right, everybody's going to be like, yeah, once you get eight recurring guest stars, you're like on top of the world and you're doing it, and I'm like, no, you actually are still struggling with the same thing and you start to think, if this isn't enough, series regular is not going to be enough, starring in a movie is not going to be enough. And so then what's the point? You're chasing after something that feels like it's never enough and that was hard for me to, I think, walk through.
Speaker 1:That's so weirdly that landed so in line with stuff that I've gone through in the past six months and where I'm at currently.
Speaker 1:I think one of my biggest fears in life right now is, I think, knowing just from hearing from other people that even if I get the bookings that I want to get, that's not going to be the thing that's going to satisfy me and give me my worth and my value, which I think is part of another reason like you guys are so awesome is because, like y'all, I was like y'all sorry, I heard y'all and I was like Southern girl throwing that in there, but I liked it.
Speaker 1:Yeah, thank you, thank you. But one of the reasons y'all are so amazing is because y'all take into consideration actors as people, not actors as little booking machines, and we are, we're human and we're supposed to be emotionally vulnerable in all these things. But then, on the flip side of that, there's the how do I protect myself and know that I have my self worth when I'm constantly expecting other people to tell me, hey, you did good enough to get this job? And I think, like that's an interesting question for you two about how you, how you navigate that self worth and your value that piece of it and what y'all do, what y'all put in place to keep yourself, I guess, balanced and grounded and know that you do have worth and it's not based on what you're booking or what you're doing. And there's life outside of acting and booking.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I'll take that one because, I'll be quite honest with you, I haven't booked a lot in my career. I go years at a time without being on a theatrical set up until you know that. I think that's going to change. I think I'm at a place where I actually own my power now without that, so I can't wait to see what happens next. I've also grown up a lot, but I've I spent.
Speaker 3:The reason one book actress existed is because I spent years trying to do everything I was supposed to do. I checked all the boxes, I did all the actor things, I took all the workshops, I took all the classes, I did everything I was quote unquote supposed to do and I just couldn't understand what wasn't working. And so I said, fine, I'm just going to talk about it online because, whatever, what's the worst that could happen? Things can't get worse, because I'm not even auditioning and I took it to the streets. I started talking to people regularly and I was like what was it? What changed for you? How do you get your mindset and the?
Speaker 3:The consistent story, over and over and over again, is that, to be quite honest, you have to do this job for years and years and years and years. You have to do it for 10, 15, 20 years before you truly get what we see as momentum and what those people who have been in it for 20 years see as a Thursday because it doesn't feel like momentum to them because they've been doing it for so long. And the people we see there is like 0.1% of people who come into this job and they succeed within the first 10 years. The rest of them have been here since they were born, since they were two. You know, emma Stone convinced her parents to drop out of school when she was like 16 so she could be in this business. Of course, she's 35 and being nominated for Oscars. She has been here for 20 years like kicking butt, and I think that we we want to, we want to pedestal the people who you know who are, who are 20 years old and successful, but we forget that they started either when they were two or they're like a lottery winners and I have to remind myself of that all the time and that headspace has kind of built me to have the resilience and have the grit to continue to do this job.
Speaker 3:And you asked you know, what do you do on the days where you question it. What do you do on the days where it doesn't feel good? You know what I do? I call Gabrielle or I send her like an eight minute voicemail and I'm like hey, when you have a minute, listen to this and you don't have to respond. But like we give each other four warnings, like we'll send ones and we'll say hey, this is business, don't listen to it until 10am. Or hey, this is, this is venting, ignore or listen to in the car.
Speaker 3:Like we like preface a lot of our voice emails to each other, because sometimes we are long winded and we vent and we talk about everything and sometimes we say like I just want to be heard and sometimes we say I want advice.
Speaker 3:And that's part of the reason we have safe space calls in the membership where we say you know, this is a place where, before you talk about what you want, say whether you want help and advice, or say whether you just want to speak, and those calls are powerful and people usually end up laughing and crying and leaving them feeling a different way, because you have to get those feelings out of your body, or else they just like sit in that echo chamber and I sat in that for so long and as I've gotten older it's gotten easier, because I've seen life shift, I've seen priorities change and I see how little the job at the end of the day is and how important coming home to your home whatever that means to you, is.
Speaker 3:And the more I've taken care of myself and been able to be present for people around me, the better my home has been and that has helped my career at large, because I also don't want to get all the success I want and come home to an empty house and not be able to text my friends. That's like my biggest fear. So I think the being a human outside of it is just such a huge part of it.
Speaker 1:With that, I think I connect with both of y'all so much. But I feel like I'm past versions of you guys, Like I'm in a different spot, Like I'm like, which makes me feel good because I'm like okay, they're okay, they're doing all right. Yeah, you'll be okay.
Speaker 3:You're going to be fine. That's it. Like you're going to be fine.
Speaker 1:I feel like, put y'all together and I'm like, oh, there's future, me a little bit in there and I'm going to be okay, but I think we also. There's also the eat, sleep and grind mentality and I feel like I mentioned that on every freaking episode. But I want to hear you to, Gabrielle, because I saw you posted one of your videos was talking about what you thought acting would look like versus what it is now and you were showing. You'll know which video I'm talking about. Maybe I don't know, but it was like you were working out, doing yoga, doing like you were. Just it was like a montage. What I want to know is I feel like you can bring so much more to yourself acting wise when you are obviously taking care of yourself and the other spectrum of life friends, family, finances, health, wellness. You know movement, so I want to know how you started making those shifts into recognizing that as just important for acting, as it is for life. I guess I don't know if it's a good question, but it's a question.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I think there's a couple of things I want to call out here that facilitated it. One I'm in a what was called a small market for so long, so not everything around me is surrounded by actors and people talking about acting, which enabled me to have perspective very easily. I do not have a bunch of actor friends never have, never will. Most of my friends don't have anything to do with acting. So if I were to try to manipulate a conversation to be all about acting, they would cut me off and they would be like cool, can we talk about something else? And so that, I think, allowed me to want different things out of my life versus the grind of actor hustle. Right, like if I lived in LA, from what Sam has told me, like there was a period of time where she felt so much pressure of like which class was she teaching at, or was she taking, whose short film was she working in, what scripts was she reading and how is she networking at all times Like circling around that drain of how I mean, how am I checking these things off? I've never had that drain, because what happens when you're in a small market is nobody takes you seriously. So none of these options were even available here in Atlanta for the longest time. It was just like a couple of self-tape places and a couple of agencies and that's it. And as it started to blossom and grow, I started to get older too, and so I just honestly didn't have the want to do that type of hustle in that way. I've always been very money driven and I was like I'm not going to put all of my money into all this actor thing, because it felt like such a schmooze and I'm not a good schmoozer, I'm not a good short talker and like I just don't really care about it and humans stress me the fuck out most of the time that it was like I don't even know where I'm going to fit. If I take these classes and networking, people are just going to get pissed off of me because I'm going to say the wrong thing. So that's one. Two, I got my yoga certification in 2012.
Speaker 2:So I have always had an eye on mindset and meditation and stretching in the benefits that that does for your body, because I have struggled my entire life with my mental health and so it was a priority to me. Because in 2011, I actually tried to take my life and so it was like I have to find a way to get out of this. So mental health and making sure I find a way to get out of that drain when it comes up has always been the biggest thing. And then the last thing I will add is that this entire push that happened after 2020 about being in your healthy body and being strong versus being skinny that came out and focusing on mental health after everybody was at home for so long has actually pushed, I think, me even further, because I've been like okay, now all I'm surrounded by is other people doing it too.
Speaker 2:So if you take all three of those things, you realize that, in my opinion, the acting class is something that you need, especially when you start out, but something you take lesser of and you start to go into more focus on like, where am I not growing? Is it comedy? Great, so I'm going to go to a comedy class, or I'm going to work on improv versus. Am I in that ongoing class?
Speaker 2:And what happened to me was, when I started to switch that focus, I started to book a lot more. So I was able to put the proof in the pudding and I was like, wow, the more I work on myself. The more I go to therapy, the more I focus on meditation, the more I focus on visualization and everything else, the more I'm seeing bookings. So if that's the case, maybe I should keep doing it, and then I just haven't turned back. That is my way I project. You will not see me do self tape. May you will not even see me just decide to pull up a script with a bunch of friends and just get into it. I just I can't, it's not me.
Speaker 1:Well, first of all, I'm very, very grateful that you are here with us today, but I relate to that a lot. Mental health has also been a big struggle for me, and then I was in like a mental health outpatient program for like four months. So it's been, I guess, seven months, seven, eight months now, but still very fresh. Obviously it's not that far removed from me. I appreciate both of you guys very much and I wing out Bye. Like I said, I think hearing you say that and hearing your story and then hearing both of y'all, there's just a lot that I relate to in both of you. I find both of you incredibly inspiring, because I think y'all show me things that I'm hoping for. Does that make sense?
Speaker 3:Okay, yeah, I'm just, I'm feeling all the feelings. I Sorry, Sam, no, it's okay. No, this is my. I love this, I love, I love. I love that our job is talking to people and getting like their story and hearing their life and like. Our job as actors is to feel our feelings and and be able to do it, you know, in front of other people. And then do it again and again and again and again. So listen, I, I think it's, it's and it's. The word honor doesn't do it enough justice. When people tell me stories like you inspire me Because I was like I'm never gonna be anything in this job I get, I'm tearing up the sorry.
Speaker 3:So close to the period, you know, I didn't think, I thought I had to, I thought I had to do so much to earn Love, to earn Someone's praise, to earn to hear that like I'm the reason someone moved to LA, or the reason they moved to Atlanta, or the reason they you know they wanted to, to continue acting, or the reason they didn't quit, or anything it's. It takes away I think that's part of it in the reason I think I can continue to do this career is this takes away the pressure, because this is just like Gabrielle said. You know, once we started working so closely with actors and realizing that we could have an effect on human life, even without being in in in something that, in something that people saw, like In in a you know how to be in an Oscar winning film. You don't even got a book, a short film this year you can still have an impact on people. Like that is that's what it's all about at the end of the day, you know, is is the impact you, you leave behind.
Speaker 3:I talk about legacy occasionally with my husband because we don't plan on having kids, and you know it's a. It's a. It's a deep conversation to get into, but Sure, that to me is that takes a lot of pressure off in it. Like it makes me really happy to know that sharing, booking an industrial, or like doing a voiceover, dubbing, or talking about how we haven't booked and how I can still find that I have to theory about like a teaspoon of hope and and finding that in some capacity, whatever it is for you today, like if that has an impact on someone, then, like the rest is gravy, like I'm, so I'm so good and I think we all want to leave.
Speaker 1:Have an impact? I don't know, maybe not everybody, but I think actors do. You know, we all want to matter and I think it's really cool that it doesn't have to be I'm an Oscar winner. That doesn't necessarily mean that you mattered or you. You know like you impacted people and All right, I have to reference my questions because my brain is getting short-circuited.
Speaker 2:I have something that I want to add, liz, that I don't think you know.
Speaker 2:So I now learning this information about you. It's I just was thinking about when I was gonna bring this up, which I don't even think Sam knows, but at one point, the way you got into the membership. When people work for us as far as mentorship, we allow them to come into membership whenever they want to, and so we open up spots for like 10 minutes for them to pop in and get a spot and be able to be in. One time I opened a spot for a minty and those 10 minutes she messaged me and she's like hey, the spots not open anymore. I'm like what? She's like the spots not open. I was like how? It's not like I publicized or anything else. You got into the membership.
Speaker 2:I called Sam and I'm like somebody named Liz got into the membership. She's like yeah, yeah, you said your mentee was gonna be and I was like my mentee's name is not Liz I don't know who this is, but she's in and she's like fuck, what are we supposed to do? And I was like, listen, in the 10 minutes that we opened it up, I think she's meant to be in the membership. Like I think that like the, the water fucking parted and it was like this bitch needs to be in here, so we're not gonna do anything. And Sam's like I agree, let's not do anything.
Speaker 2:And we have done this multiple times. We've let in like six others of my mentees. Never has anybody ever gotten in in those 10 minutes of time, like I do it at odd times. You did like so. Now, hearing what you're saying and where you've been going and how you feel about us, I'm like, oh, this makes so much sense as to why you were able to like Break the the status quo and get in which. You have no idea. You probably like great, I'm in, I'm good to go.
Speaker 1:Like wow there was one spot and I got it. Well, what's funny was like I was looking you guys several times but I just, with everything I was going through, I was like I don't know, I really just was like shelf acting. I can't open my heart up to that right now. I'm like, yeah, barely hanging on. And so I looked at you guys several times throughout those months in that program and I was like you know, not right now. And then I got out of the program and you know, getting back into working and stuff like that. Okay, I, I think I need to do this. I don't need to do a class, I don't need to do something that's gonna stress me out. I just think I need a little support on the acting side of things. And so it's just, I don't even remember the time of day or anything, and I know like y'all opened and closed it and opened and closed it and I saw that y'all to opened it and then Y'all put had posted that it was closing again or the date it was closing. It was like two days past and I was like, and whatever, I'll look anyway, and it was open. So I love that because I feel like this has been really good for me in regards to acting, mental health and how mental health and acting go together. Y'all are wonderful for mental health and acting and being a stable, balanced human with acting and it doesn't have to be eat, sleep and breathe acting, and I love that.
Speaker 1:You said that you're not gonna pull a script up and like read a script, because I feel like I should do that shit. It's. You know, you have two hours before bed. I'm like I want to read a book or whatever, or do something else. I'm like you call yourself an actor, liz. Why aren't you pulling up a fucking script and reading a script right now? And I don't fucking want to.
Speaker 3:I thought on this. Yeah, I want to add to that go. The chances of you reading a book that's eventually going to be turned in a script are like a nine out of ten. We think of, we think of acting in just such a linear fashion of like it's a Audition or an agent meeting or an email or a script or a submission or this or a networking event or this or that.
Speaker 3:My whole life has been like Accidental things. Like I meet people at the gym and they end up coming on the podcast and then I end up. You know, I one of them brought me in for a show. I'm nannied for a family and the dad was a director and after six years he had a pilot picked up and he brought me in. Like it, it's just, it's all so much like more happenstantial than we realize and Keeping yourself creatively involved is is so much more important than checking the box Some days.
Speaker 3:You need to check the box if you you know, if you're listening to this and you're like I'm actually not doing the work. You know deep down, and I've learned this because I have to told, I've taught, had this conversation with Gabrielle so many times about like Am I doing enough because I don't audition that much. Am I XYZ? Am I doing this, am I doing that? And I occasionally Will pull up a script, but it's because I'm really excited about that script. Like someone just sent me one of their favorite, like they were like I haven't read a pilot in so long and I read this one. It's incredible, you'll love it. So I can't wait to read that because it was sent to me, because someone thought of me.
Speaker 3:But I'm not gonna go like dig around and find you know what's what's? Some random show like like Adam from accounting Accounts or whatever, because it's got picked up for another season. Like yes, if you want to, great, but I can't tell you how many like books I've read that I've also seen oh, they're gonna make that into a show. And I'm like great, I'm so familiar with that IP, I can't wait for it to happen.
Speaker 3:Or podcasts I've listened to they get turned into shows and I am over the moon when I see that they're gonna maybe audition. And then I've lined up Booking I the last show I was on set for Bosch. My family loves that show, my husband's family loves it, my family loves it and I had never sat down and watched the entire series. But I knew all about it because I was around my family and they talked about it and they loved it and my husband has every Michael Connelly book known to man. So it's just it's so much more about like immersing yourself in, like creativity and art than it is like checking a damn box. Someone's gonna tell you something different and they're gonna hate that answer.
Speaker 1:But, like man, I want you to go read those books, liz books for me, or either I am all in or I will never pick that sucker up again.
Speaker 1:But diving back into why we're here, I wanna know advice you guys have for actors, either getting into this, really, I wanna know naysayers. Family can be really impactful when it comes to pursuing acting. I swear, I think when I told my dad I wanted to be an actor, he saw me starving under a bridge. So family and then also as you find success I know you touched on it a little bit, gabrielle, about how people are there until you're succeeding past them, and I think we see that. So how do you deal with that the naysayers aspect of it, of people who are there for you and then all of a sudden it's like, oh, I'm doing better than you, better whatever, like our journeys are all so different and better. I don't even like that word. How do you even measure that? But what advice do you all have for people that are struggling with that and the negativity that comes from the outside world, not just our internal?
Speaker 2:monologue. I'm gonna let Sam go first, cause her answer is gonna be great. You know it, she helps me a lot of times.
Speaker 1:when naysayers pop in, I was gonna let you go first.
Speaker 2:No bitch, you have to go first. You're the one who always talks to me through these things.
Speaker 3:I just don't think anybody matters. I-.
Speaker 1:Wow, I envy you.
Speaker 3:I well listen. I get down about stuff a lot but at the end of the day nobody is thinking about you as much as you are thinking about you. So nobody's going to bed being like man. I can't believe Liz hasn't booked an acting job. Like nobody is doing that. And if they are, it means that like they're having a rough time themselves. Nobody thinks about that stuff because life is good. I tell Gabrielle this all the time. All the time. Like nobody gets on the internet to comment some nonsense on one of our posts because they've had a good day right. Like people aren't being jerks on the internet because their life is going swimmingly. It's you become a punching bag and if you realize that the person punching you is really sad, it kind of takes away some of the power.
Speaker 3:And I've been really lucky and I always want to designate like the privilege I've had that my parents were super supportive. When I did plays in high school in like the cafeteria and then said like I'm going to go to school for acting, they were like okay, okay, all right, all right, fine, sure. And then I moved to LA and they were scared, shitless. But they were still supportive and I had, I always knew in the back of my mind that I could call them if shit truly hit the fan, but they were scared. So I was like, well, both of us can't be scared. So I have to kind of figure this out, and the thing that I've had to push past is the whole well, what are you doing? What are you working on? What are what's? Can you show up, especially in LA? You look at your window and like my neighbor's a producer and he put his screeners out in the trash yesterday, like everyone's on something you know. Like you go, you walk around town and you're like, oh, I know that person, I know that person and like, do I know them from the gym or do they know them from TV? It's just, it's a weird town, but it's also magical, if you choose to see it that way, that people make money in creative fields and it's not weird.
Speaker 3:The thing that you have to own is when success doesn't go the way you thought it would, and One Broke Actress has been my empowerment into that, because it's built a foundation for me to stand on. I've built my own platform. I built my own businesses. Because I claimed it. I said, hey, you know what's funny, I'm gonna name this One Broke Actress and watch me make money off of it. And I did. It was never the plan, but I did and I do. And the big, the cool thing is that, like, now I own it and now people are like oh, that's so cool, one Broke Actress. Like now people are in on the joke.
Speaker 3:And once you start to own the power of like yeah, you know, I'm figuring this out as I go as soon as you start to own it, it takes away anybody else's opinion and power. And the more I own stuff and the more I invest in the people who matter and who support me and the more I filter out the people who don't, the less affected I am by all of the nonsense. And this is only gonna get more complicated as we get more successful. I know Gabrielle and I will be under a bigger microscope and we'll have to figure out what that looks like, as it happens like when we're in production on something but we're still working our jobs, but we're still talking about it on the internet.
Speaker 3:I don't know what that's gonna look like, but I'm down for the adventure and I think once you get to that point and once you're in I mean, I'm 35 years old. I have a lot of good friends, I have a husband that loves me, I have successful businesses. The people who I'm trying to impress have a lot of shit going on and I have to sit back and think like, well, I can't impress anyone anymore, I just have to exist. So that's how I have to come off of it. Gabrielle, have I given you different advice? What have I told you that has been helpful?
Speaker 2:So I just wanna yeah, I was gonna just highlight what I think is helpful is the empathetics approach, that you have to be able to take your power back, because on the in-between, right Between like I'm gonna be an actor, this is gonna be great Shit, I'm not booking, why am I being an actor? And then people around you being like why are you being an actor? You lose your power. That's essentially what happens, and so being an actor is a fight of trying to find your power to stand in it, versus when you're going to not stand in it and struggle through it, and it's an ebb and a flow. It goes back and forward just like a pendulum. There are moments when I feel like I'm the best actress in the world and there are moments when I'm like, why the fuck am I here? And it happens for all of us. But you have to find ways to step back in your power, and one of the ways that Sam has helped me with is being empathetic and noticing that that person might be struggling more, and I don't really. I don't get the like they're struggling more, so I feel sorry for them. So it's not that big of a deal. That's not how I go with it. I go with it the way Sam said of like they're struggling more and that fucking sucks for them, but now they don't have as much power as I was giving them in the moment. And so, to answer your question of like people that have family members that don't see it that way, I think that the other side that I would add is like acceptance of not everybody's gonna see it this way and it fucking sucks that it's your parents but at the end of the day, if this is what you wanna do, you're gonna have to allow that to just be the truth of the scenario and find your power from somewhere else. Maybe that's a friend that is the only friend that ever supports this, but you always go to them to help that. Get that support. If you have the strength to find your power on your own, which is a lot harder to do, find it. Sam said she did it through OBA. I've done it through social media and having to show up through the haters, no matter what, but you have to find your power and be okay with letting those people sit where they're gonna sit. It sucks to have your family member not support you, but it is what it is at this moment and maybe they'll come around. Maybe they won't, because the perspective is winning an Oscar is not nearly as big of a deal to anybody. That's not an actor. I'm so sorry I can't go to the grocery store and say I want an Oscar in them, give me free groceries. They're gonna be like okay, bitch, it's 72, 95. Yeah, so it's just not that big of a fucking deal.
Speaker 2:And a lot of people see our career as a narcissistic business, which it is. So it's not surprising to me that more people disagree with what we do, because it would mean that they might have to deal with something of themselves that they don't wanna deal with, of the fact of maybe they didn't pursue their dream and maybe they're pissed off that you're able to pursue your dream, like when I look at it that way, I'm like oh, because I'm really good at being not my problem, like that is not my issue, the fact that you didn't pursue your dream is not my issue and I don't give a fuck. So I'm just gonna move forward. So when I can break it down that way, that's how I can get through it. But we all know I'm a fighter. So when people say bullshit to me about my career. The first thing I wanna do is light their house on fire, but I instead call Sam, and so it's actually a lot better for most people, it's true.
Speaker 3:We have these conversations a lot. Listen, if you really want to be comfortable with being disliked, which I think we all should be, be on the internet more.
Speaker 1:Yeah, definitely Love it. Oh my God, that was great All I got. That's not true, not all I got. But just if I want to light something on fire, call Sam, just let her talk you down from not going to prison.
Speaker 3:I'm like a people filter Just bring it to me, we'll figure it out.
Speaker 1:You remind me of my sister with that, gabrielle, because my sister is just like. I cannot deal with you in your bullshit. I'm like, oh, but maybe they're having a rough day. Oh Lord, I want to honor your time. I know we're getting close to four, so, just wrapping up, what do you guys see? What's coming up for the membership and for both of you for 2024? We're still very early on in this year and I'm sure you'll have beautiful, wonderful things planned.
Speaker 2:So I was going to see if my great Dean was going to stop barking or not. Could you hear him when he was just barking?
Speaker 1:A little bit, but he can. He can make a. I heard him a little bit, but I love dogs, so he can say hello, Okay.
Speaker 2:Well, you know, I wish I could tell you I have this wild master plan, but at the beginning of the year I read both Sam and my cards and they were pretty fucking clear to not do anything extra, to sit at where we're at and to allow what we're doing to be enough, which is something that Sam and I are not the same in multiple places, but we are the same in feeling like we have to do more because we're really good at execution. So we will chase the execution until we find another thing to chase. And so you know, for this year, my focus is to make the things that I've done that are great keep being great and then, when I get to next year, to allow that to be the next stepping stone. But we worked our asses off for the membership last year and in that, in turn of that, it made us upgrade everything. Yo, Gabrielle got an upgrade, OBA got an upgrade, Fast Four Productions got an upgrade. So last year is all about upgrading.
Speaker 2:And so for this year I'm just going to sit pretty, enjoy the fruits of our labor and then next year get to the next spot, which, ironically, I think is what's happening with the industry as well, is it's sitting pretty and figuring out what the next steps are, even though everybody wanted to tell us it was going to be this giant audition or whatever. And so I'm like, if everything around is doing exactly that, then why not? Because I mean, let's be honest, we have a fucking election year next year, and if I want to make it through and not revisit circling the train, I'm going to have to take a pause this year to be able to fight next year so that we don't have people in office that are shitheads. So that's me, and it might feel about that.
Speaker 3:Yeah, it's something. It is something we are holding each other accountable for is that we have to not be the workaholic make the next thing, do the next thing. We need to sit in a little stillness this year. Both of us do and we know that about each other. So I'm going to see how much of that I can handle. I'm going to honestly, this year, I'm very curious. I'm not making a ton of plans. I'm putting things in, I'm doing the work, but I'm also factoring in a lot of free time for myself, because I think that I'm going to need it. So, speaking of free time, I think I'm about to go do a voiceover job and Gabrielle's about to go to another job Awesome.
Speaker 1:Well, thank you both so much for being here. If you could rate review, follow the podcast. I am going to wrap this up quick because you both have to go and I so appreciate you being here. But thank you both, I enjoyed this so much.